It was a sunny afternoon, I was craving to stuff myself with food, lots of meat, unlimited, juicy chicken, tender shrimp, soft fish, spicy goat meat, so I headed for a barbecue.

This time it was Absolute Barbecue located at Lakshmi Mills junction, Avinashi Road, Coimbatore. Their ‘Wish Grill’ is a specialty with exotic meat like duck, turkey, quail, rabbit, shark, octopus, crab, squid, and given the mood that I was in, I was ready for anything they could grill.

My friend, G.D. accompanied me. lucky that I had him, he was also equally ready for anything new, exotic, untried earlier – we both make our off-and-on experiments with food.

The table was reserved for two, our rendezvous was arranged, all happened in a single blink of my eyes, and when I blinked again, I found myself sitting cozily on a sofa across my friend with the hot grill between us.

“Veg or non veg?” asked the waiter, “what? No, no, hundred percent unadulterated, pure non veg!” we both exclaimed in a chorus, sniggered together at the naivety of the waiter, and eagerly awaited the feast. 

The procession began … skewer after skewer with delicate pieces of all that I mentioned above were brought. They filled the plate, we emptied it. They filled the plate again, and we emptied it again.

 “Philippino chicken?” queried the waiter, “yes, of course,” I replied.

“Hariyali fish?” queried the waiter, “yes, of course,” I replied.

“Chili-garlic prawns?” “yes, of course”

“Mutton Seekh Kabab?” “yes, of course”

“spicy chicken wings?” “yes”

“Tawa fish?” “yeah, yeah”

“Lemon butter fish?” “that too!”

“How is the food sir?” it was the waiter, “less spice? More spice?”

“fantastic!” I remarked, and with the same breath, said, “change the spice, something different.”

“yes sir, different spice.” Repeated the waiter and went away at once. Meanwhile, the flow of skewers did not stop, you should know that.

“Oh my god! How did I forget?” I told myself, and at once called the waiter back. “wish grill, wish grill,” I said it twice for emphasis, “what is special today?”

“wish grill sir?” the waiter made it sure, “duck, rabbit, shark, what do you want sir?”

“everything in the wish grill,” I replied at once. “do you have octopus?”

“yes sir,” he said.

“that too,” I said.

“it will take some ten minutes,” said the waiter apologetically.

“no problem, we are ready to wait,” I replied with a condescending smile.

After forty-five minutes … (you should know the table is booked for two hours) the flow of skewers became slow. When the salt got more in the dishes, we understood. We switched over to veg and fruits – paneer, mushroom, cheese potatoes, corn, pineapple, watermelon, 

And, that is when our wish grill came down, in small bowls, small portions, we were not disappointed, because by then, we were done with starters for good. Any shortcomings were compensated by another half a dozen skewers of chicken, fish, and prawns with that different spice mixture I had asked earlier.

We would usually move on to the main course this time round. My friend and I would then visit the buffet spread, read the names of each dish carefully, and sample them. 

Biriyani is my favourite, and I usually serve myself a good portion of it. That day was different, the biriyani had burnt spices in them, I made a face at the waiter after tasting it, he came, asked what the problem was, asked me to wait for a moment, and brought a plate half full of biriyani, freshly prepared with a set of different spices. Unbelievable! But  Believe me, it was very good, and I was happy again.

Wait! Wait! wait! I got carried away by biriyani, actually, before we started the main course, we toured the restaurant, looked at various stalls – panipoori stall, ice cream stall, and the wish grill stall too. I asked my friend to read the names of all the exotic dishes displayed at the wish grill stall, in case, if the waiter had missed to serve any eee? Thank god, he didn’t miss any. My curiosity was not appeased, I asked my friend to read the names of exotic vegetarian wish grill.

“zucchini, spring onion, raw papaya, green olives, bla, bla, bla, bamboo shoots- “

“wait, what did you say?” I interrupted my friend.

“bamboo shoots,” he replied.

“well, I would like to taste it, I have never had it,” I declared. So, we ordered for a bamboo shoot fried rice, and went back to our main course.

By the time we had gathered all the buffet-dish samples and returned to our table, the bamboo-shoot fried rice had arrived. I wanted to try the bamboo shoot first.

I thought it would be small thin tube-like things – much like miniature bamboo poles. But it was not. It was like sliced carrots.

Bamboo shoots with pork is one of the delicacies in northeast Indian cuisine (flashes of titbits flickered in my memory as I picked a slice and dropped it into my mouth. I gave it a gentle bite allowing the juices to flow. Flow it did, the slice itself melted. It had a texture as that of radish, or well-cooked turnip …  …

I closed my eyes and screwed up my face. Mmmmmmm, eeeee, what a flavour! Awful smell that of, that of, stagnant water? Wet moss? Can’t describe it. The closest analogy I can think off is a soaked dish-washing soap. And the taste, bitter, slightly salty, and raddishy at the end, when all chewed up and about to be swallowed.

I swallowed my first bite and recorded all these impressions. This was when I heard a retching noise. I turned and saw my friend coughing a little.

“what happened?”

“nothing, it tastes funny,” he replied. 

I boldly went with another slice, and found it palatable to some extent. One more, and one more, and I was okay with it, but not highly fond of it.

“try one more slice?” I asked my friend, “No, no, I am done with it,” he replied.

We then went on, finished our main course, went into the dessert stall, sampled every sweet out there on display, hot jilabies, moose cake, cheese cake, pastries of pineapple flavour, strawberry flavour, orange flavour, burfi, ice cream – three flavours with all the toppings available at the stall, and finally, gave the eating spree a full stop with a burning paan.

I am writing this account almost after two months from my first and only encounter with bamboo shoots for now. In between, there were other barbecues and other buffets, those are for another time.

I am still wondering at the flavour, texture, and taste of a slice of bamboo shoot. I need another go at it to give you a clear picture, would you like to join me?